Congrats if the word "threads" means something to you.
Clothes make the man right?... Actually yes. But not the ones you think. I believe that every article of clothing you wear should make some kind of statement about you. Guess what - that Abercrombie Beach Volleyball Team shirt does not say dick about you. Unless you play for the actual A&F beach volleyball team, don't wear this rediculously pompous piece of crap shirt. It sucks. It says nothing about you and chances are it probably smells bad from all that A&F crap cologne anyway.
If you snowboard, get snowboard shirts. If you play lacrosse or football, represent your favorite teams or wear shirts that say you do these things. If you like music, wear your band's t-shirts.
Wear clothes that make people stop and look at them. Find a brand most people don't know about and wear it. A good example is Vestal Watches or Utopia Optics. They make sweet gear for extreme athletes.
Wear clothes that make people laugh or question themselves. Political shirts, funny shirts, and intelligent shirts will start conversation and get you noticed. Check out BustedTees.com. Those Hollister Polo Shirts will be outdated in a year, trust me. Certain brands scream I AM IN HIGHSCHOOL!!! You will not wear these very long. A&F, Hollister, American Eagle etc are all like this.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Lesson 4: Part 3 - Your First Big Party
So the night is going well.
Party games.
Learn to play beer pong, flip cup, and some card games before you show up. They'll help you meet and connect with people which will make you have fun.
Don't overdo it.
You can not socially afford to throw up or black out. Let others drink for you. There can be atime and place to get crazy, but this is not that time. You are not ready yet! If you are the guy who ruins Suzy Swanson's dress with your vomit, everyone will know it Monday morning. If you break Johhny Football Star's leg when you fall on him, you will get sued. If you burn down Jimmy Rich Kid's vintage-sports-car filled garage - you will go to jail. And Jimmy will not invite you back to his parties. D'oh!
Party games.
Learn to play beer pong, flip cup, and some card games before you show up. They'll help you meet and connect with people which will make you have fun.
Don't overdo it.
You can not socially afford to throw up or black out. Let others drink for you. There can be atime and place to get crazy, but this is not that time. You are not ready yet! If you are the guy who ruins Suzy Swanson's dress with your vomit, everyone will know it Monday morning. If you break Johhny Football Star's leg when you fall on him, you will get sued. If you burn down Jimmy Rich Kid's vintage-sports-car filled garage - you will go to jail. And Jimmy will not invite you back to his parties. D'oh!
Lesson 4: Part 2 - Your First Big Party
This is your first party.
You are what you drink.
It may be tempting to reach into that cooler and grab a cold Mike's Hard Lemonade. But then again, if Mike's Hard Lemonade is tempting you, then maybe so is slapping Johnny Football Star's ass. The point is, Smirnoff Ice, Mike's, Zima, all these are girl drinks. Don't touch them. Men drink beer. When there is no beer, Men drink Scotch. When the scotch is gone, Men go hunting and pillaging for more beer and scotch. End. Of. Story. No flavored 70 proof "peaches and cream" vodka should ever touch your lips. It's proven to decrease testosterone and semen while leading to feelings of rejection and the desire to talk without making sense. Oh my God! So that's why girls act the way they do when they are drunk!
Your Party Outfit
First of all, if you are calling it your "outfit" you have more problems than deciding what kind of beer to drink. Your clothes say a lot about you, but not nearly as much as Marketing Majors at Calvin Klein actually want you to think. Instead of investing a lot of money in clothes, invest that money in your body. Ever notice that the models wearing the clothes could make a homeless mexican's sombrero and siesta blanket look good? You can make a simple tee-shirt look incredible if you are in good shape. No need to go buy a $300 D&G cashmere sweater so Suzy "Party Favor" Swanson hooks up with you. Buy a shirt that says something about you! Go To The Gym! Then drink beer and scotch. Then watch hair sprout from your chest!
You are what you drink.
It may be tempting to reach into that cooler and grab a cold Mike's Hard Lemonade. But then again, if Mike's Hard Lemonade is tempting you, then maybe so is slapping Johnny Football Star's ass. The point is, Smirnoff Ice, Mike's, Zima, all these are girl drinks. Don't touch them. Men drink beer. When there is no beer, Men drink Scotch. When the scotch is gone, Men go hunting and pillaging for more beer and scotch. End. Of. Story. No flavored 70 proof "peaches and cream" vodka should ever touch your lips. It's proven to decrease testosterone and semen while leading to feelings of rejection and the desire to talk without making sense. Oh my God! So that's why girls act the way they do when they are drunk!
Your Party Outfit
First of all, if you are calling it your "outfit" you have more problems than deciding what kind of beer to drink. Your clothes say a lot about you, but not nearly as much as Marketing Majors at Calvin Klein actually want you to think. Instead of investing a lot of money in clothes, invest that money in your body. Ever notice that the models wearing the clothes could make a homeless mexican's sombrero and siesta blanket look good? You can make a simple tee-shirt look incredible if you are in good shape. No need to go buy a $300 D&G cashmere sweater so Suzy "Party Favor" Swanson hooks up with you. Buy a shirt that says something about you! Go To The Gym! Then drink beer and scotch. Then watch hair sprout from your chest!
Lesson 4: Part 1 - Your First Big Party
You've made it to your first big party.
How'd you get here? Maybe that wealthy preppie kid a town over is throwing a rager or maybe you finally got in with the guy who's swinger parents skip town every weekend to mix it up in el Caribe with the natives. Doesn't matter. You're first party can make or break you as a person in high school. You need to be prepared.
Pre-Party Planning
Have a good cover story and a place to park your car where your parents won't see it. Also, you need to invest in a sober driver or be able and willing to walk back from this party on your own two feet. You have no idea what could happen at this party, so don't count on staying over - have a backup plan in place. Driving after drinking is not a backup plan. My lawyers tell me that I can not endorse driving under the influence, so don't do it. The fines and medical bills could put you in a financial hole the rest of your life (that means you will not live the dream and you fail at life).
Odds and Ends
Never be without a few key items.
-A lighter
-Cigarettes (does not matter if you smoke or not)
-Cell phone & car charger
-Shot glass
-Gum
-Condom
-Bottle opener
-Knowledge of good & current music
These items are the most asked for items at parties. They can help start conversation; it's a good social networking tool. This way, if Johnny Football Star comes up and can't open his beer, you can help him out while gaining style points for being prepared.
Arriving
Try to bring something to the party that distinguishes you. When I worked in the dining commons of a female prep school, we'd make hot wings every friday night before we left. At whatever party I decided was the best for the night, I'd bring the wings to the drunk kids. Instant popularity and drinks for me. Try bringing some kind of different micro-brewery beer, a funnel, expensive liquor, or maybe have ping pongs balls with you. The point is to make a statement. Remember - you're the fucking man and everyone should know it.
How'd you get here? Maybe that wealthy preppie kid a town over is throwing a rager or maybe you finally got in with the guy who's swinger parents skip town every weekend to mix it up in el Caribe with the natives. Doesn't matter. You're first party can make or break you as a person in high school. You need to be prepared.
Pre-Party Planning
Have a good cover story and a place to park your car where your parents won't see it. Also, you need to invest in a sober driver or be able and willing to walk back from this party on your own two feet. You have no idea what could happen at this party, so don't count on staying over - have a backup plan in place. Driving after drinking is not a backup plan. My lawyers tell me that I can not endorse driving under the influence, so don't do it. The fines and medical bills could put you in a financial hole the rest of your life (that means you will not live the dream and you fail at life).
Odds and Ends
Never be without a few key items.
-A lighter
-Cigarettes (does not matter if you smoke or not)
-Cell phone & car charger
-Shot glass
-Gum
-Condom
-Bottle opener
-Knowledge of good & current music
These items are the most asked for items at parties. They can help start conversation; it's a good social networking tool. This way, if Johnny Football Star comes up and can't open his beer, you can help him out while gaining style points for being prepared.
Arriving
Try to bring something to the party that distinguishes you. When I worked in the dining commons of a female prep school, we'd make hot wings every friday night before we left. At whatever party I decided was the best for the night, I'd bring the wings to the drunk kids. Instant popularity and drinks for me. Try bringing some kind of different micro-brewery beer, a funnel, expensive liquor, or maybe have ping pongs balls with you. The point is to make a statement. Remember - you're the fucking man and everyone should know it.
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